The United States Conference of Catholic Bishops advises: "A convalidation is not simply a renewal of the previous intention to marry, but the creation of a valid marriage in the sight of the Christian community." The following is quoted from the Archdiocese of Denver's website on the basics of marriage convalidation:
"A convalidation is needed when one or two baptized Catholics enter a marriage which is invalid and the couple now wishes to make the marriage valid. Indeed, convalidation is a new act of consent, which constitutes the beginning of the marriage in the eyes of the Church; it is not merely a blessing.
"Typically, the marriage was invalid due to lack of form, which means that a Catholic did not observe the canonical form of marriage (consent exchanged before an authorized priest/deacon and two witnesses) and did not receive a dispensation to do so. In other words, the couple was married in a non-Catholic ceremony (e.g., before a justice of the peace, minister, rabbi, etc.) without an exemption from the Catholic Church.
"Keep in mind that the canonical form of marriage is required only when the marriage involves at least one Catholic party. If your marriage was formed between two non-Catholics and, consequently, was celebrated outside of a Catholic ceremony, you do not need to seek convalidation, even when one or both parties are entering the Church. The marriage is considered valid since the form was appropriate to your status at that time."
The Catholic Church ordinarily requires baptized Roman Catholics to marry before a priest or deacon. One of the precepts of the Church is to observe the laws of matrimony, which includes this. Unless the couple received a dispensation from an appropriate authority in the Church, Catholics who exchange vows in the presence of ministers from other religions or in front of civil officials (e.g. judges) are not considered validly married in the eyes of the Catholic Church.
Regardless of the past, do not put off having your marriage recognized in the Catholic Church and thereby receiving the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony. Marriage is not a mere civil ceremony, it is a Sacrament instituted by our Lord Jesus Christ. By receiving the Sacrament of Marriage, you will receive God's actual graces to strength your marriage.
Step 1: Contact Your Local Parish. Make your situation clear to the priest and ask him what is required based on your circumstances to have your marriage valid in the Church. Make him fully aware of any previous marriages that you were in and whether or not those were annuled. This is a very key part that would need sorted out by the priest.
Step 2: Organize Your Sacramental Records. Get copies of you and your spouse's Baptism Certificate, Confirmation Certificate, and Civil Marriage License. Have those ready to share with the parish.
Step 3: Take a Marriage Preparation Class. A marriage preparation class will ensure that you and your spouse fully understand the Church's teaching on marriage. You will also cover the importance of raising children in the Catholic Faith, the role and limitations of natural family planning, and you will cover topics like financial management, long term goals, conflict resolution, and other relevant topics that you may not have discussed lately. It is a good refresher to take a class together on understanding all of these issues from a Catholic point of view. CatechismClass.com offers a convenient and entirely online marriage preparation class.
Step 4: Receive the Sacrament of Confession. Since marrying against the laws of the Church is a sin, it is necessary for you and your spouse to seek forgiveness in Confession. Your priest will be happy to absolve you these sins. Do not fear! You are doing the right thing to marry properly in the Church.
Step 5: Arrange for Your Nuptial Mass. Work with your parish to schedule your nuptial Mass, at which you will exchange vows and receive the Sacrament of Marriage validly. It is preferrable to often have the ceremony on the same date as the civilly recognized marriage. Work out these logistics with your details. And be prepared to celebrate this achievement!
Yes! Please contact us after completing the course to request a personalized certificate of completion to present to your parish to show that you have completed a Catholic marriage preparation class as part of your overall marriage convalidation process.